Not Giving Up

One of my acquaintances struggled with cancer before losing life to it. On this World Cancer Day it seems fair to share something we wrote together as a tribute to her & thousands like her who make us realize how precious being alive is! 

How to Let Go

Have you ever had the feeling that you missed someone so much, you didn't want to get up from bed. When thoughts of someone meet you smile and cry. When you wanted to go back in time and spend more days with that special person. When someone broke your heart, but you still find it difficult let them go. Letting go is the final stage of grieving over someone, weather dead or alive. Letting go allows you to give up the pain that you have held for long. In some cases, it means accepting the truth that a person or the things that you have been so compassionate about is no longer there. It means confronting your unpleasant emotions about the past and becoming comfortable with them. If you find it difficult to let go, here are 10 tips to help you. How to let go:

• How To Let Go 1: Deal with people, one day at a time. Because when things don't go according to you, you have got to learn to deal with everything – one person a time.
• How To Let Go 2: Give space to your loved ones in relationships. Most relationships fail because we expect too much in return. When you lower your expectations and give space to others, they will love you more.
• How To Let Go 3: Do not limit yourself. Some people like to keep the situations hanging. Their belief system that they can’t do anything or it is not right to interfere keeps them miserable. Challenge yourself. The only thing that limits you is your imagination.
• How To Let Go 4: Do not worry too much. Whatever will be will be. Excessive thinking about something doesn't make it easy to let go.
• How To Let Go 5: Accept people for what they are and not how you want them to be. Keep room for mistakes. We are human beings. The being part in us lifelong learner. Allow it to learn.
• How To Let Go 6: Learn to forgive: unless you forgive yourself and the situation, you cannot move forward. Letting go is all about learning. Forget the hurt, but take a lesson from it. If you dream of flying high, you have got to learn how to leave the earth.
• How To Let Go 7: Be strong: Some of us think that holding grudges makes us stronger, it gives us some kind of power. Whether it is guilt, anger, frustration, betrayal letting go is never easy. Never fight to hold on, fight to let it go.
• How To Let Go 8: Give up unneeded stress: You have to understand that people come and people go. This is life. It becomes easy when you let go of the unwanted stress. Stop   holding  those  who have let you go a long time back.
• How To Let Go 9: Value yourself: Sometimes  we  have spent time with someone for so long  that we do not even realise  that is stopped valuing us time back.  The person  who doesn't value you blocks you from the one who  might.  Let them go.
• How To Let Go 10: Be Happy: When you  let go,  you put your trust in  God,  allowing Him to  heal your wounds  and something magical happen.  God works in mysterious ways,  give him room.                                                     

Positive Thinking & Meditation

Positive thinking is overrated.
How?
Let me give you an example – do you remind your name to yourself every day? “No”, right? Because you are so sure of it. You have been hearing it ever since you remember. You have developed a personality around it, and act according to it. That’s the surely you name has brought into your life.

So why not be sure of everything? Every task, situation, relationship – why not have the confidence that you have the power to sought it through? Why not practice spirituality at work and become the most awesome version of yours?

Searching ‘Positive Thinking’ on Google gives 2,96,00,000 results. More the interpretations, more the confusion over it. Let’s simplify:

1. Positive thinking is the art of believing that everything is perfectly like as it is supposed to be. It doesn’t mean you keep on reminding yourself that. It means, you believe that.
2. It is constant meditation. Being positive means to be in touch with your inner being and taking even the minutest decisions like ‘what to wear’ or ‘how to lose weight’ (in my case J) with peace. Playing meditation music in the mornings helps to build the mood.
3. It reduces influx of stray thoughts, and keeps your mind focussed.
4. It induces creativity. With a calmer mind, you observe more, and become less judgemental.

Nothing else, but a lot more. Keep on discovering!

And if you get, read these simple rules to make life better, happy & light. Send your comments at nitima@writingroutes.com

Shine on :-)

Being Like Water

I am an easy person. I don’t get into conflicts, raise my voice, or get influenced easily. Over the years, I’ve created plans for self-improvement, and tried spirituality to concentrate on ways that make me calmer.

So when this incident happened, within which I became a part of a rumour, and had to hear rubbish allegations, letting go became difficult. It was the situation of double confusion – my spirituality was telling my mind to let it go and move on, but my heart wanted to react – it wanted me to use strong words to reply back to the lady who had put me in a fix. And then I read somewhere – be like water.

Absolutely loved the concept of being open – rather than dominating my forcefulness, I tried to let my emotions go wherever there was an opening. I softened my hard edges (accepting that I too can be incorrect was difficult), and tried to become tolerant of others’ opinions. I pictured myself with same qualities as of water – free to flow, allowed myself to be soft, weak, and yet yielding, flowing delicately into the lives of those who created the hurt. I let my thoughts go beyond to enter their private inner selves, allowed them to see (perhaps for the first time) their own experiences with me – kept this image of me as gently coursing water, and watched my relationships change.

1 Step Plan to Kill Arrogance

As you know from my two previous posts, Being Humble and Time, Spirituality and Happiness, I’ve been an avid encourager of practical spirituality.

Usually during the middle of week, I feel the urge of sharing my experiences. Today, in honor of the “Tolerant/Intolerant” debate, I’m going to share the best self improvement tip in my arsenal. This may not be the most valuable advice on killing your arrogance you ever had. Heck, you might not even remember it after an hour, but I’ll still share. Are you ready?

Accept others’ mistakes.

That’s it. Whether it’s once or even 10 times – accept the people as they are and move on. Day by day, build this habit. Keep a journal of your feelings, challenge yourself in new situations. Seems pretty simple, but it’s something all of us struggle with at one time or another. Improving oneself is important, and many posts on this blog and others can be helpful – but you can’t progress unless you try. I know that’s not what you want to hear, and I truly wish there was an easy way, but I’m sorry. That’s just the way it is. Nothing is easy, especially not being tolerant in relationships.

I also know you want to improve – otherwise you wouldn’t be here, would you? Maybe you are thinking about making yourself a better human being, and once you’ve read everything, you’ll become a stunningly amazing individual. May be you’ve tried to shed arrogance but it attacks you at your weakest moment, and disheartenly you backed out. But not anymore.  

Just do it. Become more receptive to others’ ideas, their nature and their way of handling daily crisis.

Accepting others the way they are is hard. Only people who have never worked on themselves will tell you otherwise. You’re not alone in feeling that way. More than one of great saints has likened acceptance of others as living the awful parts of life,  wounding yourself, bashing your head against the actual feelings. But you still need to do it. For now, don’t worry too much about how may hurt you again, or you might not be taken seriously, or any of that serious stuff. For now, just worry about taking a step into practical spirituality and divorcing the arrogance.

Maybe you are already aware about your feelings and know the ways to overcome them, and you really just want to know how to control your frustration, irritation, anger, or a different method of finding your peace. That’s great. Please see the tag cloud to the left. I’ll be back soon with another practical spirituality article. This week, however, I need to work on a few writing projects.
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I Am That Woman

I walk

I talk

I feel

I heal

I possess a heart that you may tear apart

But it's my spirit that I inherit

I am the woman

With the "man"

I make

I create

I love

I cannot hate

I am the woman with undying strength

Who will go to any length

To bring things together

Whatever may be the weather

I am the woman

That woman…

The Golden Trick

Smile at whatever happens.  Even if something has gone wrong, find something to learn from it or something positive and be happy for it.  Even if you can't find it right away, at least take the thought that this has happened for a reason. Start believing whatever happens, happens for the best.

When people see someone with positive qualities, even during negative situations, they really admire their positivity.  It could be patience, wisdom or any other positive quality that comes across.But much more than that, it is the happiness or contentment that is visible in the form of a cheerful face. This is the true personality of royalty, that each one of us too needs to make an attempt to imbibe.


Life is short. People are dying. There's too much unhappiness around. Why waste time in sulking when you can make it BETTER? Stay cheerful. There's no other way of living. 

Learning Creativity from Madonna

My generation has grown-up watching Madonna. The Madonna. Her face reminds me that nearly every great creative mankind has ever known was/is a perfectionist. Yes, I agree perfectionism is not considered a healthy attribute in the world ‘coz it drives people crazy, but what is the fun of living a life that’s not near to it?

If you ever read the superstars of creativity and imagination, you’ll find that none of them stood for anything less than ideal work. Watch Madonna’s documentary “I’m Going to Tell You a Secret.” It will inspire you. At every point, Madonna sweats and demands that every moment of her performance is perfect. Really makes me think - why work on something if it wouldn’t get close to as perfect as possible?

Making Your Thoughts Count

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.

“A human is a product of the thoughts he keeps.” – We know that and yet we choose to think rubbish. Take a moment to visualize your thoughts and you’ll see more than 98% of your thoughts would be either of the days that has gone by or of the future. Yesterday & Tomorrow.

And here we forget one of the most venerable teachings of life “Present is a PRESENT.” Why must we choose to endure pain long after the incident has happened? Why we worry about what is yet to come? Why must we give tit for tat? Why can’t we practice patience?

Let’s not be ordinary. Let’s do something special and make our good thoughts count. Let’s spread peace by being at peace with ourselves because with our thoughts, we make the world.  

Making everyday a Perfect Day

Making a usual day a perfect day can be a struggle. But for most us, what to do to make it perfect isn’t the hard part.

Come on, think about it.

You normally don’t struggle (too much) over what to do. The question is when to do to make your day reasonably good.

Here are four pointers that help me making my day better than others. They are yours to use –

Get up early

Almost 85% of people sleep till 8 and miss the wonderfulness that an early morning has to offer. One of the best gifts you can give to yourself is ‘getting up early’. Of course, trying it suddenly is going to be difficult but if you make it a habit, you’ll have so much extra time to think, read, exercise or anything you like to do. I meditate, cook, and go for a walk when people around are sleeping and enjoy it thoroughly. 

Appreciate & Learn

Try this – spend 5 minutes twice a day in gratitude – it will reshape the way you perceive your day. With appreciation will come the desire to learn. Focus on what is best right now and block the rest.

Have a schedule

When we write our thoughts, we become conscious of doing them on priority. Success doesn’t happen by accident but through conscious choice. Plan out what is most important to you so that you can get them done.

Accept changes gracefully

Change in the only constant thing in our universe. To live perfect days, get rid of your attachment with things (my home, my car, my laptop, my idea etc.), situations (at home, work, financial, emotional) and people (parents, children, friends, spouses) – love them just like you love everyone else. Attachment doesn’t let you move out of your comfort zone and your growth becomes ZERO. It costs you your happiness.

John Wooden (American basketball coach) once said “You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.”

How will you alter your choices to make your days perfect is on you.

Rules Of Being A Human

Something I read yesterday and really linked it, so posting it here




1.     You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.


2.     You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."


3.     There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."


4.     Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.


5.     Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.


6.     "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."


7.     Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.


8.     What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.


9.     Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.


10.     You will forget all this.

The Change Management of Life

How often you feel angry on others? If something unpleasant happens, are you able to control your mind at the right time or do you keep on thinking about it the whole day?


Generally, our thoughts drive us. It is our perception about other people; situations etc. that make us react. We are so used to keeping thoughts running on our mind that we don’t even realise how much wasteful things is happening inside us. Have you ever noticed how easily we get affected by outside scenario? When we meet an irritating person, we get irritated too.

Have you ever noticed why?

Because we have become takers of negativity, ego, anger, frustration and waste. This needs to be changed. The thinking has to become positive. With the power of positivity, we refuse to give up. Remember, though situations don’t last but tough people do.

Let us try to be a better person. It will change everything around you, because change always begins from inside. If I’ll change, the WORLD will change with me.

A TO Z... FOR LIFE

A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.

F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn. We Learn By Doing, And Teach By Being.

R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom
Have a bigger prospective of life.

Gaining Life out of Lost Moments!!

A philosopher once said: “Most people take the limits of their vision to be the limits of the world. A few don’t – join them.”

This is surely a superb point. The life that you see this very moment isn’t necessary the life of your future. May be right now you are viewing situations with the eyes of fear, rejections, limitations and false assumptions and you would be able to see a clearer picture once you wash off the stain from the glass window.

One of my good friends lost her life partner last month. Though she is a strong person and has her family supporting her completely in this moment of grief, she sometimes feels lonely and depressed. I don’t know what to say except – “this too shall pass”. I know it is difficult to face a situation like this but we all have to see some tough days, may be these are hers...

As Robert Frost says “one thing that is learnt about life through experience is that it goes on.”

No one is born with a guarantee of having a wonderful life – our attitude makes all the difference and this girl is certainly trying to cope up with the loss. I have seen many people who are filled with uncertainty and negativity; however there are still so very many great human beings out there – those who carry deep wisdom, who have big hearts and do not give up easily. We need to salute them and learn from their spirit as they gain life even out of lost moments.

Reveal the Genius within!!

Do you know the way to reveal the genius within?

I know one: its route is through problems solving. Problems are nothing but servants – they bring responsibilities. Inside every problem lies a precious chance to see life from a new perspective.

Every challenge is nothing but an opportunity to improve ourselves and be a step closer to the kind of person we would want to be.
Avoiding problems is never considered a wise decision. To know our true worth, we have to pass through tough situations. To a salesman, a yelling customer might seem like a headache, but to a problem solver he will provide an occasion to cover the gaps. A person who understands the importance of feedback will improve the standards to ensure that such a thing never happens again.

Struggles open our mind to new and refined viewpoints that we never thought existed. It makes us better decision maker and helps in maintain confidence on our abilities.

To conclude, here’s my quote for the evening:
“Life is meant to be lived with simplicity; our attitude makes all the difference.”