How to Let Go

Have you ever had the feeling that you missed someone so much, you didn't want to get up from bed. When thoughts of someone meet you smile and cry. When you wanted to go back in time and spend more days with that special person. When someone broke your heart, but you still find it difficult let them go. Letting go is the final stage of grieving over someone, weather dead or alive. Letting go allows you to give up the pain that you have held for long. In some cases, it means accepting the truth that a person or the things that you have been so compassionate about is no longer there. It means confronting your unpleasant emotions about the past and becoming comfortable with them. If you find it difficult to let go, here are 10 tips to help you. How to let go:

• How To Let Go 1: Deal with people, one day at a time. Because when things don't go according to you, you have got to learn to deal with everything – one person a time.
• How To Let Go 2: Give space to your loved ones in relationships. Most relationships fail because we expect too much in return. When you lower your expectations and give space to others, they will love you more.
• How To Let Go 3: Do not limit yourself. Some people like to keep the situations hanging. Their belief system that they can’t do anything or it is not right to interfere keeps them miserable. Challenge yourself. The only thing that limits you is your imagination.
• How To Let Go 4: Do not worry too much. Whatever will be will be. Excessive thinking about something doesn't make it easy to let go.
• How To Let Go 5: Accept people for what they are and not how you want them to be. Keep room for mistakes. We are human beings. The being part in us lifelong learner. Allow it to learn.
• How To Let Go 6: Learn to forgive: unless you forgive yourself and the situation, you cannot move forward. Letting go is all about learning. Forget the hurt, but take a lesson from it. If you dream of flying high, you have got to learn how to leave the earth.
• How To Let Go 7: Be strong: Some of us think that holding grudges makes us stronger, it gives us some kind of power. Whether it is guilt, anger, frustration, betrayal letting go is never easy. Never fight to hold on, fight to let it go.
• How To Let Go 8: Give up unneeded stress: You have to understand that people come and people go. This is life. It becomes easy when you let go of the unwanted stress. Stop   holding  those  who have let you go a long time back.
• How To Let Go 9: Value yourself: Sometimes  we  have spent time with someone for so long  that we do not even realise  that is stopped valuing us time back.  The person  who doesn't value you blocks you from the one who  might.  Let them go.
• How To Let Go 10: Be Happy: When you  let go,  you put your trust in  God,  allowing Him to  heal your wounds  and something magical happen.  God works in mysterious ways,  give him room.                                                     

1 Step Plan to Kill Arrogance

As you know from my two previous posts, Being Humble and Time, Spirituality and Happiness, I’ve been an avid encourager of practical spirituality.

Usually during the middle of week, I feel the urge of sharing my experiences. Today, in honor of the “Tolerant/Intolerant” debate, I’m going to share the best self improvement tip in my arsenal. This may not be the most valuable advice on killing your arrogance you ever had. Heck, you might not even remember it after an hour, but I’ll still share. Are you ready?

Accept others’ mistakes.

That’s it. Whether it’s once or even 10 times – accept the people as they are and move on. Day by day, build this habit. Keep a journal of your feelings, challenge yourself in new situations. Seems pretty simple, but it’s something all of us struggle with at one time or another. Improving oneself is important, and many posts on this blog and others can be helpful – but you can’t progress unless you try. I know that’s not what you want to hear, and I truly wish there was an easy way, but I’m sorry. That’s just the way it is. Nothing is easy, especially not being tolerant in relationships.

I also know you want to improve – otherwise you wouldn’t be here, would you? Maybe you are thinking about making yourself a better human being, and once you’ve read everything, you’ll become a stunningly amazing individual. May be you’ve tried to shed arrogance but it attacks you at your weakest moment, and disheartenly you backed out. But not anymore.  

Just do it. Become more receptive to others’ ideas, their nature and their way of handling daily crisis.

Accepting others the way they are is hard. Only people who have never worked on themselves will tell you otherwise. You’re not alone in feeling that way. More than one of great saints has likened acceptance of others as living the awful parts of life,  wounding yourself, bashing your head against the actual feelings. But you still need to do it. For now, don’t worry too much about how may hurt you again, or you might not be taken seriously, or any of that serious stuff. For now, just worry about taking a step into practical spirituality and divorcing the arrogance.

Maybe you are already aware about your feelings and know the ways to overcome them, and you really just want to know how to control your frustration, irritation, anger, or a different method of finding your peace. That’s great. Please see the tag cloud to the left. I’ll be back soon with another practical spirituality article. This week, however, I need to work on a few writing projects.
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Assertive or Aggressive – What Are You?

Conventional wisdom has taught us that assertiveness can take us forward. It tells us how to make people work, request the resources we want, ask for raises at the right time and not to take ‘no’ as an answer. It is supposed to be directly linked to gaining respect and offering it.

But it has a sweet spot – if you are below it, people are going to ignore you. If you're above it, you’ll be termed as aggressive. So assertive or aggressive – what are you?

Assertiveness is not unanimously understood to be a positive trait. Before you give opinion, know the context you are working in. Evaluate your level of assertiveness and assess your own behaviour by asking for inputs. Ask yourself if you are willing to talk to someone about what you want? Also practise asking yourself what do you want from a particular situation? Then, afterwards, evaluate the results: "Did I get what I wanted?" this will build a track record of behaviour and assess whether you need to adjust your style of working.

Sometimes, objectively rating yourself can be difficult and if that is the case with you, ask a friend or trusted colleague about feedback or encourage a 360-degree review.

Three rules to Assertiveness
I: You have the right to judge your own behaviour, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.
 II: You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behaviour.
III: You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.