What to Do When Nothing Goes Right

He had started to realize that it wasn’t going to happen for him.

He was in his fifties. 

He was suffering from a disease that had led to muscle weakness and fatigue. 

Hepatitis B had already finished his liver by 75 percent. 

His new venture had collapsed. He had to mortgage his home to pay loans. 

After decades of unparalleled success, his fortune had changed and he became bankrupt.

That was Amitabh Bachchan before he began his second innings in Bollywood and bounced back to a stage all of us are aware of. Today, he has an international following and is worth more than ₹ 3,000 Crores ($400 million).

We all get bad days. It is one thing to have a bad experience, but occasionally life takes us through entire stretches of time when nothing goes right.

Like a row of dominoes, one thing after another comes crashing down.

Overcoming difficult situations certainly takes time, but it also requires grit, self-awareness, and recognizing the moment when to take a break.

That’s what this post is about – finding out ways to pause, recover and get going again.

First thing first, tell your heart this happens to everyone. Accept it, even if you don’t see others going through it right now. You don’t know what their past has been or can say anything about what they are going through just by looking at their faces.

When factors leading to a tough situation are out of your control, you may feel completely singled out, like a victim. Don’t fall in that zone. It drains too much energy, making you grumpy and sometimes hopeless.

Trust me when I say – each of us stumbles. Those success stories that you read on social media are only a crux of all the struggles a person has faced in two lines. Everyone falls. Even the world champions. But the grace, the real struggle is getting back up, faster, stronger, and unshakable.

That’s what Amitabh Bachchan did.

But easy for someone like him to bounce back, right? After all, many rich, influential people know him.

The truth is that for someone like him, the failures are more difficult to overcome. Because of the mammoth amount of visibility he gets, his every downfall is also magnified 10 times. Not to count the shame, trolling and fall from grace. If someone like me fails, only my family would know; but if a celebrity fails, the whole world is there to scrutinize, give unsolicited advice and make snide remarks.

Setbacks allow us to put a little perspective in order and reignite passion to succeed. Here are a few strategies to help you stay positive and get back on track, no matter what happens.

Be ready, adapt to change

When things don’t go according to the plan, change the way to plan.

As we set meaningful goals, we tend to push ourselves full throttle. When nothing goes right, it can disrupt our momentum and throw us off course. This feels extremely discouraging, especially when you’ve already worked so hard toward your goal. One of the ways to destress is to use positive affirmations. On the days your hard work isn’t paying off, be ready to adapt to newer ways.

Brave Souls

They ask me to say something about Guru Gobind Singh;

They ask what is He to me?

I tremble when they ask, "What is He to me?"

I think of history,

Wars, fierceness & days of victories; 

Warriorship that raised generations,

Courage, which had no limitations.

I learnt early,

When things get tough

Don't be girly

When up against trouble,

Meet it squarely, 

Burst the bubble;

Set the shoulders,

Plant your feet,

Take a brace,

And that's how & when,

I remember a Guru's face.

Be The Hope

Be The Hope

Hope is the attitude change for a better future!

🔺Be of help

🔺Be of value

🔺Stay humble

Be the hope the world needs. 

How To Make New Year Different: Why Will Power Matters

Mindful Meditation

Once Buddha came to speak at his sermon carrying a satin cloth in his hands. He asked people what they saw, to which everyone replied in unison that it was a beautiful satin cloth. Then Buddha started tying knots to it. After putting about five of them, he asked people whether it was the same cloth. People confirmed it was, though it was little

different now because it had knots.

To this, Buddha replied that it was what he wanted them to understand. 

“You miss seeing the fine satin fiber lines because you are in knots.” 

Mindfulness meditation teaches you to be the same cloth but without knots. He then asked the best way to open them, and if pulling the cloth from both sides would help the purpose. People replied that it wasn’t the correct way as it would in fact tighten the knots. 

Acknowledging that, Buddha told them that even though most know it wouldn’t help, they still try to open their knots by pulling! He added that while the intention of an individual to overcome difficulties can be termed as good, the mean adopted to do it is not always the right one. In confusion of solving out something, most make it complicated. 

“If you want to open the bumps, close your mind to disturbances, and untie them with caution.”

What is Mindfulness Meditation?
Mindfulness meditation is being in present. It means doing the current work with utmost clarity, patience and dedication. It is not a condition to be achieved, but a way of living. For example, if you are eating, being a mindful eater would mean that you are aware of how much to eat and stop when your stomach feels full. Mindfulness meditation makes you aware of your body, thoughts and surroundings. 

According to the statistics listed on this website, mindfulness meditation improves anxiety levels 60% of the time. The same site lists reduction of risk of being hospitalized for coronary disease by 87%, relief in the symptoms of insomnia by 75% of the time, increase in productivity by 120% and reduction in PMS symptoms by 57% as some of the direct effects of mindfulness meditation. 

Mindfulness Meditation Exercises
Most people think of meditation as a daunting task, because it is only when they sit in silence they realize clutter in mind. These are the random thoughts that go on, without necessarily having any connection with the present reality. Mindfulness meditation encourages to accept them and move beyond. Since body and environment influence thoughts and our reality, mindfulness teaches us to be kind and convert our clutter into something meaningful and loving. If you want to know some techniques for it, read on:

1. Sit quiet and observe: For about 10 minutes every day, keep everything aside. Put your smartphone at a place where it can not disturb you and observe the little movements of nature around you. Ants, birds, leaves, wind, smell of soil, chirping of birds, noise of a dog bark, smell of cooking, sound of a car engine, blast of sunlight, ripples of water, colourfulness of flowers – there are many things that happen simultaneously around us. Find your centre and notice the comfort of sitting still.
2. Put positivity in practice: Sweet words, like flowers, are essence of our innate nature. Speak slowly, but speak positively and if you want to learn positive thinking, read this. 
3. List the details: Anytime, anywhere – list at least 10 details of a place/moment/incident that you would not have otherwise noticed. 
4. Say no to multitasking: Doing more than one chore at a time wastes more time. Do a task fully before moving on to another one. You mind would want to jump, but resist the temptation of leaving something in between. Don’t let your mobile phone break your cycle. 
5. Develop 2/60 cycle: Spend every 2 minutes of an hour to embrace silence, mentally getting ready for the next one hour. Use mindfulness to give your mind some time to shift its wavelength one from task to another. 

Benefits of Mindfulness Meditation

Clear mind: When you learn to control your thoughts and stay in the present, the mind stops wandering. It moves away from the buts and ifs, and stays where you want it to be. The calming effect increases concentration and reduces the chances of immoral behaviour. 

Happiness becomes a choice: As I wrote earlier, recognising the importance of current time is bliss. Read a small story about it.

Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction

Like anything you read? Want to experience meditation? I am one crazy-about-meditation kind of person who likes to experiment it as much as I can. Give me a shout & I’d love to share! 

Love,

Nitima

Email: Sood(dot)nitima(at the rate)gmail(dot)com 

The A, B, C & D of life

Image: www.tigerbreath.com  

When hardship hits, our instinctive reaction is “what will happen to me? My home? My family? My work?”

It has become natural to start pulling in. Some people, you must have noticed, immediately get into protective mode. They try to pull in and preserve their domains. It has become human nature today.
Is this living the life as it comes? How about not acting on fears and narrowing our vision but standing for what we believe is right and getting rid of our own limitations? The simplest way to do it is by learning the basics again. So, let’s begin

A: is for accuracy. We must try and deliver everything with unmatched accuracy not only when we are working professionally but at home, with people as well. Remember, if no one’s ever going to see, it doesn’t make leaving the table messy after you’ve had food is alright. No – it isn’t. Just imagine – if someone would pay you to do it, would you then also leave it like that? No, isn’t it? Yes! I know money is a great driving force but is it ethical to be lazy?


A is also for alertness. The more alert a person would get, the better will be accuracy and of course – the end product. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are doing it with accuracy and alertness, you are bound to make it perfect.

Not Letting The Motivation Disappear...

Motivation disappears when we start seeing ourselves as ‘ordinary’. We begin to see every day as a routine, cooking, laundry, cleaning, working – everything starts looking monotonous after a while. Yes, variety is the spice of life and who says we should not live a spicy life? Get inspired to get motivated. Think of ways you can sketch you day in a more colourful way, take a break from what you do continuously and Thank God for not giving you what you never wanted, be a giver rather than taker and if you can’t give anything else, give people motivation, love and peace.


My leadership is giving my best when no one is watching because I know that I want to excel not because people appreciate it but because I am made to do things in the best way.

Personal Change Management

Old proverb: "people don't change when they see the light. People change when they feel the heat."

Why wait for difficulties to confront you before you pull back from the noise and rethink. Think again - who you are, what your priorities are, where you are going, why you are going there, how you want to shape your life and what values you stand for. Please remember - to succeed you will have to do things others don’t like to do, even if you don’t like to do them either – Have guts to rise above your feelings of the moment - and do what's correct versus what's trouble-free. And that's how you emerge as a winner of every moment.

Let’s learn to Love Life

“I cried since I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet” –

This line sends shivers down my spine. Whosoever wrote this statement made the most valuable point in the Philosophy of Life. It’s a natural trap for every human being to look at the things they don’t have and feel sad about it rather than being grateful for what they have. I meet many people who say that they are thankful to God for giving them what they have, but do they really realise it from inside?

The moment a person become conscious of good things around, complaints of life vanish immediately. The fear of ‘what’, ‘if’, ‘why’, ‘when’ and ‘who’ immediately fades away.

More than billion of people go to bed hungry and we feel gloomy if we don’t have money right now to buy some branded clothes......Children, with no fault of theirs, are born with AIDS every day and we get irritated if we have to spend some time in a traffic jam? Many died last week war due to tensions between Israel & Hamas, and we worry about losing extra pounds?

The only word to think about here is ‘Perspective'. See world through the eyes of traveller and you will have a Perspective, speak to people and you will know their Perspective, respect others and you will have a Perspective and listen to your parents and your life will have a Perspective.

Life & Inspiration

We all have dreams and try to raise our personal standards to achieve them. If we remain satisfied always, what will we aspire about? This world was built by people who felt some discontent with the way things were and knew they could do better. The greatest among us were not satisfied with the system. Think Newton, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Bill Gates, Einstein – they wanted to bring change and introduced a different type of development. Thomas Edison once said “Show me a completely contented person and I’ll show you a failure.”

Life inspired them in a different way and they chose to play a unique game than others. They used their creativity and talent to paint a new picture of this world. If THEY can do it, why can’t WE? Why should we remain behind? I think every human being has a ‘duty to shine’? So think what inspires you and what vision do you have for this world. If all like mined people start thinking the same way, what is there that cannot be achieved?

Here’s a small poem on inspiration written by one of my very good friends. (http://www.helium.com/items/1270047-poetry-inspirational)

What is inspiration and where does it come from?

Is it a word, a thought, or a story of valor?

Or is it my life, your life, or somebody's life that inspire?

Or it is something internal to us, is it that fire?

What makes me feel strengthened to see?

Even that moment or person is not related to me.

What makes me stand and take the call?

Even though I had a mighty fall.

Sometimes I feel the nature is saying,

Look the seas, the mountains, the rivers are playing.

I see the birds, the trees, and the rain

Teaching me and ease the pain.

I shut my eyes and look inside,

And let my thoughts decide,

That is there is still a lot to inspire me up,

And this is a lot to fire me up

Do you have time to Think & Thank?

We all are blessed in unique way. Some of us have brilliant jobs, others have money, few are loved deeply by their parents/lovers/kids/friends, we all have homes to live in, decent community to interact with, nutritious food to eat ....... the list goes on. Each of our encounters with outside world teaches us and shapes our prospective. I had a chance of meeting a CEO of a successful company last week. When I asked him the secret of his success, he smiled and said “I take out time to think and thank.” Every morning he spends 1 hour in deep reflection. He sits with his eyes closed and meditates for the day to come, thinks on action plan and thanks God for every moment that passes.

Taking out quality time from your busy routine is an excellent strategy for a successful day. Many people spend the best hours of their days agonizing over arguments, differences and non productive thoughts. Even though they are working but they, either do not put their best effort or mentally are occupied with happening of the past/worries of the future. All the energy, potential and time goes wasted through this way.

Being thoughtful and strategic is the number one step towards the route to greatness. Clarity always precedes success. By doing reflective thinking your wisdom will result in crisp and effective actions. Do not miss the “think and thank time” of the morning. It will provoke some amazing ideas and inspire some big dreams and others will be there to witness your success.

A Tribute

Today, while we were at India Gate, saluting to those who laid down their life so that we can sleep peacefully at night, I realised a very important thing: Courage is not only absence of fear but along with that willingness to walk through a tough route, sometimes when you know the route can end in your death. It takes guts to leave your family, your children behind for your country. Some of us can not even imagine how motivated those policemen and commandos were who fought bravely to end the unfortunate situation and ensure that maximum number of people can be saved.

Messages have been pouring in from every country and I am amazed by the solidarity shown by those who do not live in India. What chance do terrorists have in this world which just needs one incident to unite against them?

Overcoming Tragedy

What has happened at Mumbai has broken many hearts and given us wounds that may probably never heal. Some have lost their loved ones forever and many may have to live a life of injured now. Fear has made way for rage which is ruling high among all. Mumbai is the place of bravest of the brave and the city will rise again. The spirit of optimism can never be killed and this is the time to turn wounds into wisdom. Our country has stumbled but this incident would become stepping stone for the future. Choice is ours – do we want to mourn endlessly or do we want to stand tall again and make our world a decent place to live. Let’s not miss an opportunity to inspire others and spread peace amongst this tragedy. It is the only way to mend broken hearts and let’s all be a part of it.

Instant Motivation Boosters

We constantly face struggle to gather the strength and courage to break through our internal fears. The anxiety of unknown constantly pulls us down. There are some who are stay optimistic and motivated to accomplish everyday tasks successfully and set long-term goals. On the other hand, there are some who avoid, procrastinate, and waste valuable time agonizing about their inability to carry out the simplest of tasks. So which group you belong to? What is the level of your intrinsic motivation?
The concept if motivation is not rare, almost everyone has it and practices it in some way. The problem arises when we forget our positive points. If that is the case with you, here are few motivation boosters that can be used anytime when you need a shot of confidence.

• If he/she can do it, why can’t I?......

When others can do it, why can’t you? Why should you limit yourself by saying/thinking that the task in front of me is difficult? Nothing is impossible if you have the willingness to perform – do you agree?

• I have come this far.......

Another motivation booster is to try reflecting on everything you’ve already done to accomplish your goals. Anything from skipping a single dessert during your weight loss program to sending out a resume in your job search will do. Think of the willpower and hope you displayed in that moment. Why should this moment be any different?

• Visualize your goal.

Imagine about the moment when you’ve achieved your goal. Picture you mental state and the feeling of ecstasy by attaining one specific thing that you made real by sticking to your path. For quitting smoking – think about hearing a smoker’s cough and knowing you’ve left it behind. For getting promoted at work, think about opening your wallet and seeing a thick stack of fifties in it. An image like this is a great motivation booster, as it makes your goals feel concrete, tangible and real.

If a motivation booster listed above doesn’t work for you, do not loose hope. Just take few seconds to reflect on what you’re doing RIGHT NOW. You’re looking for help so that you can build momentum on the road to your objectives. It is surely a sign of an alert, active go-getter. Just the fact of trying to use a motivation booster to stay positive shows that you want to do the right thing and keep pushing onwards, so do it!
Do not forget that the implication of our actions decide our success. Life is worth living only because it’s not static. We wouldn’t have stayed happy that way – So enjoy and live fully – that’s the only way to live.

Let’s acknowledge our failures

We sometimes lose hope of success, when there comes a big obstacle that we fail to clear. All of us have failures of our own - at work, at home, in relationships, in life – the list is long. We wonder why this has happened, and start suffering from the dreaded disease of self pity by constantly thinking – Poor me.

Till some time back, I was also of the same kinds who could be ‘put off’ by failures quite easily. It took me time to understand my failures, actually. And Now I can see the bigger picture. I have been uncertain towards the better part of my life. Failure is the cost of greatness. Failure is an essential ingredient for a higher success. You can’t win without leaving your safety zone and taking some calculated risks. They don’t say it without any reason – no Risk, no Reward – and the more risks you are going to take in pursuit of your dreams; chances are that you are going to fail more often.

But that shouldn’t stop us from moving ahead – let’s learn to stretch today – life can be unpredictable, so make out the best of it – before it gets too late to even start.

Bigger the change, longer it takes to settle....

History is full of stories about monuments and how long it took to build them. Great Pyramids, Taj Mahal, Eifel Tower, Great Wall of China.... the list is long – it took years to make them and now they stand tall remind us of time when not many means were available to construct something but some people had vision and patience of making their dreams a reality. They knew that the generations later, their work will still be admired.

The point that I am trying to make here is that the larger the dream, the longer it takes. And the endurance becomes critical for our work Maybe, as you read this blog today, you are feeling frustrated over the fact that your richly imagined future is not your current reality, yet!

If it is so, I encourage you to keep in mind that the most excellent things take a little longer.

Don’t forget - if achieving bold and beautiful things were so easy - then everyone would be doing it.

Business Motivation

As manager sales, I work towards closing gaps with sales people through coaching. I always relate to my sales staff on a more equal, less informal level. The role responsibilities are still there, but I get in the trenches with them... so to speak. Here's a MANIC approach that I have developed to my sales staff , see if it's of any use to you...

Ask your sales person these questions and find out if they understand and answer these questions completely.

1. M = Money - who holds the purse strings
2. A = Authority - who can say Yes as well as No
3. N = Need - why would someone want to buy our services
4. I = Interest in buying from you - remember most companies need three quotes - 1 from the incumbent 2 a new supplier they are interested in 3 a price comparison - MAKE SURE you are not the price comparison
5. C = Competition - if you are up against a company that sells cheap - you promote service and quality - if you are up against a company that quotes quality and service you promote value for money
   

If your sales staff understands these questions completely, they are ready to promote the product. As their manager, it’s your duty to motivate them, to remain inspired to perform their functions resourcefully.

Most of the times money isn't the issue, recognition is. I have come across some managers who tend to take the attitude that whatever their team do is "their success" while any failures are "the teams". It's a situation common across a number of companies. Employers need to be honest to gain trust. The key to do so is by treating the staff as intelligent human beings, giving them the freedom to be masters of their own destiny, within the realms of business requirements.

Where do you stand?

Motivation and Self Esteem always go hand in hand. Got a chance to attend a session on motivation, this is what I liked:
Common Belief Issues - low motivation
Hopelessness - It is not possible to get what I want.
Helplessness - I am not capable of getting what I want.
Worthlessness - I do not deserve what I want.

Transforming Beliefs - moving to high motivation

Hopelessness to Optimism
Helplessness to Confidence
Worthlessness to Self Esteem
You are important, special and unique.
You have something to contribute.
So, where do you stand??

Intrinsic Motivation

Motivation is certainly a good topic to write an article on I think. If you know the way to intrinsic motivation, then you know the way to be successful. We all are different and therefore look out for different motivational solution to our need.

So, here is my suggestion of dealing with this issue:

Write, on a piece of paper, about yourself describing – what constitutes YOU? Like an introduction that you would give to a complete stranger. Now read it – Are you only talking about your work life because that is all in all about you, or do you have hobbies, interests, favourite pastimes, voluntary work that you can include? See yourself as being made up of components, like - your home life, relationships with your family, friends and even pets, your status in the community, local issues that you stand for and support, some volunteer work that you do for church or NGO, being in the local sports team, your passions in life, etc. Now I don’t profess to be lucky enough to have these many components in my life, BUT I have aims and ambitions to include them - either some or all, now or maybe later, and that helps drive and motivate me in the things I do and decisions I make. This should motivate you to be a much more complete person as you will gain diversified skills and experiences that will help and assist you in all your activities.

For every activity, there should be clear goals, and perhaps targets so that you know your status when you achieve them. If somehow you don’t make it in one, then you will still have other ‘components’ where you are achieving, thus a cause of remaining positive. If you ever find the more challenging one consistently challenging… don’t be afraid to change the component all together. A change of career can be refreshing and exhilarating and can do wonders for your motivation!

So, you see, motivation is a state of mind. Think positive and set your goals, and confidence to make positive changes should keep you on the right track and keep you happy!

The Diet to Excellence

We know that what we eat today determines our health. If our diet is nutritious, we cannot expect to have a strong body. So don’t you agree – Actions always drive results.
We know ourselves and we know what we stand for – Excellence in life, family, career and fun. So I ask you to take your diet to the next level. Eat excellent food. Give your body the best fuel. Think of yourself an elite athlete who needs to putting only excellent nutrition in, so to get excellent results out.

After all, what's the point of getting to mountaintop - but reaching there sick? Or not having enough stamina to go for your dreams? So eat a healthy diet to win.