Killing English - Desi (and sometimes Videshi) Istyle

Hi Folks,

Here's the collection of some English errors I've found during the last six months of observation. I have tried to distinguish these commonly-found English errors under some basic heads. Let me know if there's a better way of sorting.

Print errors that made it to the common man:

English error in Times of India 

No link between the two - how can they make such errors

Print errors in English

The Story of Fuelling a Change: How I Began Getting Up At 4:00 am

How to Get Up Early?

Getting up early is the best gift my life has given to me.

To me, it means being awake during that part of the time when there are no distractions. It means starting my day well in advance from the Rest who are still snuggling under the covers to dream. And in the evening, use the same time to foster hobbies rather than working late – or to get to sleep early while others are eating out, partying or watching TV.

From Apple's Tim Cook to Cisco's Padmasree Warrior, Starbucks' Howard Schultz and Pepsi's Indra Nooyi, this is habit is common to tons of famous leaders. Whether they were born early risers or learned good sleep habits, they know how to seize the day.

My story

The year 2005-2006 marked a drastic change in my life. I had lived pretty casually before, and my lifestyle was kind-of irregular one like anyone of my age. I had a good-paying job, a vibrant social circle and the zeal to do big, but something was missing. It kept me awake during nights and made me worry about the possible “Whats, Whys & Whos” – What if I keep on living like this with no clear path of life (though the job was good and I had a thriving career laid in front, but I wanted more from life). The questions did not stop there. I thought about life, death and more. I wanted to know why do we live? Who’s God? What's there that we can’t see but is right in front? What happens after one becomes completely contented?

The change process

And then it was the time for the “Change Process” to begin. It was the time when I got introduced to meditation, the subtle art of experiencing deep silence and attaining peace & happiness. To be honest, it was a very slow process, but I am glad that I became a part of it. When I began practicing it, I wasn’t sure whether I’ll continue because like the other youngsters of my age, it wasn't possible for anything to remain interesting enough for me to continue. But the meditation practice surprised me. I just got hooked to it. Such was the effect that I began getting up early at 4 (& sometimes even before that), just to get enough time to experience it in solidarity with the nature.

And that’s when I learnt three golden habits to wake up early.

The three habits

Happy Republic Day

Amar Jawan, Army Memorial, Kargil & Drass Road

Freedom in mind, faith in the words, pride in our hearts & memories in our souls. Let's salute the nation on Republic Day! Vande Mataram!!

Amar Jawan, Army Memorial, Kargil & Drass Road

Discipline, Patriotism & Patience to practice.

Happy Lorhi to All

One day Sunday went to Monday to see Tuesday and ask Wednesday whether Thursday has told Friday and Saturday that “SUNDAY” IS LOHRI. 

“HAPPY LOHRI”

Happy Lorhi to All

Smart Phones & Not-So-Smart Users

As a writer, I have developed an obnoxious habit of observing people, and it does irritate me sometimes to see how some people can waste hours of productive hours on mobiles. Why can’t an accounts manager remember that the payment is pending since 3 months? Why, over a course of 40 minutes, does a senior executive trade 15 emails to organise a simple coffee meeting, only to be postponed to the next day? Why does a manager from real estate company waste the entire meeting in talking about his inspirations that are not even remotely related to the project?

If you are an owner of a smartphone that has made it possible for you to read this on mobile, the surprising answer to these apparently unrelated questions might literally be stretching out in the palm of your hand.

With a massive and rapidly increasing user base, smartphones have now become a core part of our lives. Sprouting far beyond the basic productivity tools in the early 2000s, Blackberrys, iPhones and Android handsets have acquired a dominant position in the mobile industry. The value proposition? Work and play faster, smarter, longer, and better. I also found that over 50% of young professionals rank mobile phones as the most vital technology that helps them to work. Cloud computing ranked second at 14%.

More interesting than rating people’s dependency on their phones, is observing their behaviour behind the exploding usage. While speaking to some smartphone users, I found their ehaviour shifts very surprising. One user commented, “I’m always scheduling things on my phone and it tells me when to do what”. "By the time I check all my phone notifications, new ones just swamp me”, said another.

I am not a psychologist, but am not even so naïve to find out that the overall results are stunning: frequent use of smartphone imposes crucial psychological costs, and it impacts our professional and personal lives in four ways:

• ·         We don’t remember anything anymore because now smartphones do that for us.
• ·         We’ve forgotten to use our mind to work out simple calculations because our phone gives us inbuilt calculator
• ·         We are wasting time by indulging into irrelevant data downloads
• ·         It keeps us hooked to social networking and within FaceBook, Twitter, Linkedin – the actual me has got lost.

Craziest Things Employees Tried to Expense in 2012

Crazy employee

Dear naïve epitomes of corporate virtues,

Did you think that the days when employees could subsidize crazy expenses are gone? Not so easily dear. The report by Businessweek shows that almost one-fifth of the expenses submitted violate the company norms in one way or another in these days of cost cutting and austerity. Here are 7 examples of the most brazen expenses that were filed last year. The names of the companies are not disclosed due to confidentiality agreements.

• ·         Innerwear: Someone in the telecommunication industry thought their body looks best at the workplace with a particular set of innerwear.
• ·         Deer urine: The deer urine was a key requirement for an agricultural products manufacturing company employee’s successful hunting trip with a client.
• ·         Young giraffe and zebra: The baby giraffe and zebra were brought to an office party for a hospitality company. I suspect there was plenty of booze there, too.
• ·         Dunk tank: An auto parts supply company hired the dunk tank to uplift the moral of its employees. Every time they achieved a target, they got to dunk their boss in it.
• ·         Pink flamingo ornaments. The employee of a pharmaceutical company needed ten. For the home, it’s cheap, but for the office? That would have been fun!
• ·         Tattoo removal: Put forward by an engineer who wished to improve his image and sought to look more professional to clients.
• ·         $3833 for Screaming Eagle (1994): After supper, the finance Gods like to have drinks. One highly-sophisticated employee decided to taste one of the world’s most expensive wines on the company dime. 

Good luck, dear friends. You—and your brash expenses—will surely be a source of inspiration for the new hires of the coming year who, in my humble opinion would surely be inquisitive to know the best way to make use of company money.

Ajmal Kasab Hanged

Finally an action by my country worth praising!

Wish they had done this earlier but as BJP says "His execution matter of great satisfaction". Won't write much but I'll end this post with a hope that Afzal Guru is the next. Mr. President wake up now. Take action!

Old Folks Remain worth a Fortune

Old is gold

Remember, old folks are worth a fortune, gold in their teeth, with silver in their hair, stones in their kidneys and gas in their stomachs.

I have become a little older since I took birth and although many changes have come into my life since then, I am enjoying it a lot. I am seeing my best friends every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see Mr. Morning Walk. Then Break Fast comes along, and makes me give taste to the tongue. When he leaves, Work Station when he is here, he takes a lot of my time and attention. He doesn't like me to wander my attention away from him for long, so he takes me one effort to another. After such a busy day I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Io Dex. What a life!

P.S. Old life – if meeting you means everything will become eventful, I am ready for you!

A Tribute to Jaspal Bhatti

The favorite comedian of masses died yesterday. Like many others, I also thought it was just an act of fun and I'ld soon find myself laughing at his newest gag. But it wasn't.  Can’t believe he’s not coming back amused that once again he took everyone by surprise. 

I still remember watching Flop Show on DD and its subsequent reruns on all the major channels. I had loved the program so much that went out of way to download all its episodes, even if it meant buying an additional hard disk because the data was kind of too much or exceeding the allowed usage of our monthly broadband plan – Flop Show deserved it all. There have been countless occasions when I’ve quoted dialogues from the show and stole the limelight, or when I couldn’t stop breaking into laughter at the simplicity (but intelligence) of this brilliant human being who had the God-gifted talent to make everyone breezy.

Jaspal Bhatti gave the gift of clever comedy to the Indian cinema. No person has ever inspired such creativity or set such high standards for this beautiful art. Our laughter originated from Jaspal Bhatti and his spirit will forever be the foundation of humour.

Jaspal Bhatti in action

I still hope this news of his dying is bogus, but if this is what the world-drama wants, let the soul depart into its new birth peacefully and continue to spread its cheerfulness. God bless his family.

Amazing Leh and the Indian Army

Indian Army Kargil-Drass War Memorial

Secluded terrain, long (unbroken) roads and clear blue sky – this is Laddakh – the lost paradise, no doubt. Here, on one side the wind makes you shiver as you regret not packing an extra jacket and on the other it leaves you breathless because of the altitude – a whooping 11570 feet above sea level.  On the outskirts, Leh is just like any other village but when you enter its boundaries, the modern town melts into a crumbling old city of timber and mud bricks.

Indian Army Kargil-Drass War Memorial Indian Flag

Reaching Leh by road for a first time traveler like me wasn’t easy. We took the Manali route because many said it’s more picturesque than the Srinagar-Leh road. And they were correct. The beauty of the mountains paired with endless waterfalls made the route amazing. We crossed Kullu, Manali, Solang Valley and Rohtang peacefully. The trouble started after we crossed Keylong which is at the height of 10,000 feet. Manali-Leh road gains height faster which sometimes results in altitude sickness, but the presence of Indian Army makes the journey endurable. My first interaction with the Army Medical corps was in Pang Valley  which is completely isolated, penetrated only by barren mountains. Because of this isolation, the valley has not become the residential commuter area as like the rest of the region, but that doesn’t take away the beauty it offers.

Indian Army Drass War Memorial Indian Flag

There are Medical Camps at every manageable post, which are maintained by the Indian Army. (It has a large military base in Leh to patrol the borders with China and Pakistan). At these camps, I got a chance to interact with officers whose main job sometimes becomes providing medical facilities to those feeling frizzy on this route. The dedication with which they work is really inspiring, especially because the posts they stay in normally touch temperatures below 20 degrees. The commitment towards service is awesome and truly reflects the spirit of their motto ‘fight to win’.

Pang Valley wasn’t the only place where we had to take army’s help. We saw them again while on the way to Pangong Lake, Khardung La, Kargil and Drass war memorial and at every place, the interactions with the men in uniform were better than before.