Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Fail. Learn. Move On. My Life…Heck My Rules!

I’ve wasted time and I’ve failed. Repeatedly I’ve failed to get new work. I had my lowest percentage in XI. XII was tough. I couldn’t understand in physics. It just floated above my head. Result in board exam was poor. I had to take the physics paper twice to clear. Gave competitive exams after XII. Dad wanted me to try, but I was afraid. Didn’t study well, wasted money on multiple exams. Shifted to Delhi and had to stay with various people for a month before we could take our place here. It was embarrassing. The turning point came when I secured admission in Jesus & Mary, that too in the first cutoff.

But going to college wasn’t fun. I was a geek. Couldn’t make many friends, spend much on clothes or pursue my favorite hobby of dramatics. Felt left out for such a long time. Began my first job at 21 and shifted quickly in succession twice. Got placed in a corporate year later with a decent salary. It was good to begin with, but things changed slowly. I was young. Couldn't mould myself to the dynamics of office politics. Foolishly left it three years later, without anything further in hand. I was confident I will find another one quickly. Unfortunately, no one found me suitable. Took me more than 600 days to discover my true calling – “writing”. Made 20 cents on the first assignment, and even though the money was with PayPal for a long time (could withdraw only after reaching the minimum level), it was liberating. I began exploring. Got some odd jobs, took everything that was offered.

It’s been six years in writing now. I work as a freelancer. I haven't taken any formal training, but the results have been satisfactory. On good days, I get offers to do entire corporate websites for biggies like the British Council, Shri Ram School, Times Internet, BenQ, Sansung, Marc, etc. (Who knew they hired freelancers!!) or get great new ideas to work on. On bad ones, I lose inspiration to write or to do anything else. I waste time. Currently, I’ve no work. It’s been two months, not a single project. Hadn’t happened till now, but hey – this is life. Nothing moves smoothly. May be I’m not trying hard enough. I just don’t have the continuous will to try. I give up too soon. But cursing myself doesn’t help.

For the last few years, I’ve made a consistent effort to improve myself. I’m learning to get rid of hollow emotions. I sometimes fail, but the attempt is continuously on. For me, happiness has become a daily decision. I think less, feel more. Talk less, listen more. Judge less, accept more. Complain less, appreciate more.

I get up early and meditate daily. It’s such a power booster and has helped me to increase my concentration power. I do Surya Namaskar followed by 10 minute exercise routine. I go out for walk every morning. If for any reason I miss, I carry sneakers in my backpack and walk back home from work meetings. I don’t eat outside food. It gives me a control over my taste buds. I don't go out for parties, they are time wasters. I like quietness of where we live. It motivates me to read. I also like music and have attended some great live performances - the  sufi ones are mind blowing.

Don’t limit yourself. Every success story we hear has a grueling past. Understand that you can do more only if you are healthy. Squeeze active working out routines in your daytime, even if it’s for five minutes. Sleep early. Get up earlier than your neighbors. Don’t keep television near to where you sleep. Switch off your phone and laptop by 9 pm. Talk less. Observe more.  Make the day count.

Do something that makes you happy. Learn craft, one small creative act at a time. Question your values, your routine and make changes to it. Do not check your Facebook every day – the lives people show on it aren't that upbeat. There’s a lot of difference between showing photographs and maintaining that smile forever! Most of us are neck deep in similar conditions. Accept it, judge what you stand for, make one small change a day and move on. You'll feel blessed!


Swati Raheja said...

Sweetheart, it takes a lot of guts to write open your story. You have very well captured the meaning of obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
Keep writing winning stories!

Sukrita Bailterwala said...

It seems that failure tends to be more public than success. Or at least that’s what we perceive it to be. We fret it, we try to avoid it, and we question ourselves every time we have unconventional ideas. But the simple truth is – no great success was ever achieved without failure.

Sumita Chakrobothy said...

Keep up the good work sweety.L ove your writings

Juni Hunt said...

You are truly blesses Nitima to write so freely. I can relate to so many thhings that you have written, especially the changing financial situations. Yes, nothing is forever - not the sorrow (definitely). Let's be happy.

Juni Hunt said...

I should have checked the spellings before writing. Ignore my typos ;-)

Aslamika said...

Like the self control that you are able to practice for not eating food outsede. I tried once, and the best i could keep away was just seventeen days.
Keep it up.

Compaddicts Infotech said...

Keep up the good work sweety.Llke your writings
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namita d said...

Very well written.. I could connect to it so much. Felt like my own story.Love your writings.Stay blessed.