Saturday, September 8, 2012

Assertive or Aggressive – What Are You?

Conventional wisdom has taught us that assertiveness can take us forward. It tells us how to make people work, request the resources we want, ask for raises at the right time and not to take ‘no’ as an answer. It is supposed to be directly linked to gaining respect and offering it.

But it has a sweet spot – if you are below it, people are going to ignore you. If you're above it, you’ll be termed as aggressive. So assertive or aggressive – what are you?

Assertiveness is not unanimously understood to be a positive trait. Before you give opinion, know the context you are working in. Evaluate your level of assertiveness and assess your own behaviour by asking for inputs. Ask yourself if you are willing to talk to someone about what you want? Also practise asking yourself what do you want from a particular situation? Then, afterwards, evaluate the results: "Did I get what I wanted?" this will build a track record of behaviour and assess whether you need to adjust your style of working.
Sometimes, objectively rating yourself can be difficult and if that is the case with you, ask a friend or trusted colleague about feedback or encourage a 360-degree review.

Three rules to Assertiveness
I: You have the right to judge your own behaviour, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.
 II: You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behaviour.
III: You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.


Susan said...

Dearest Nitima,

Just yesterday I was wondering what would be the right wat to know if I am agressive or assertive...and there was your post...thank you ever so much.. for the reminders..


Shiv said...

Dear Nitima,

Today I got a chance to look at your website; an impressive one. I feel the dream for everyone to imbibe values should be given the prime importance in schools. I value my values and am currently on my journey to achieve best in life with them.

Thought I should share this with you.

Best wishes, Shiv

Amit said...

Just as if you want to be a better person, you need to know your weaknesses.

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